When you left me, I didn’t panic. Not at first.
There was disbelief and a refusal to accept the truth. I just calmly retried our connection. Something faulty but easily fixed. There are lulls in every relationship. After the tenth try, the worry whipped up inside. You had left me without warning or explanation. What had I done? The silent emptiness gnawed at me. I could no longer check in on you, satisfy my addiction with fidgeting fingertips, use you at my favourite sites, deny that this was an obsession. The loneliness leered at me through buffeting windows, empty sites. I called many times for help from people who have known you longer than me - your friends and mentors. I begged for help, explaining what little I knew of the cause of our break-up. There were a few words of consolation from your so-called-friends, empty promises by people who claim to be experts on how your workings and whereabouts. But they don’t know you like I know you. Too late, I was told, try again tomorrow. The tomorrows mounted up and the same empty promises that you’ll return when you’re ready. A monstrous thought stalked me- you’d never come back. What did you expect me to do? I had to find you somewhere, or someone like you. So yes, I admit, I scoured the neighbourhood and found a free partner elsewhere. We met over coffee. I was just temporary, I promise. Just a short taster to fill your gap. I would’ve paid anything to get you back. I offered money, I made deals with experts, appointments, everything I could to change to get you back and keep me away from my coffee dates and risk of infection. Then on the third day I woke up and an idea slithered out: I could fix you myself and bring you back. It was as simple as changing the cable. Once. Twice. Fingers crossed, mumbled pairs, phone in my hand rubbed like rosary beads. Then you returned in a flurry of lights. There was leaping, cheering. I kissed your plastic body and we were reunited over vacuous emails and fake news sites, full bars and sighing denial.
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AuthorA poetic-essay style blog with a limit of 365 words. 365 like the days of the year - my name being one of those days! Archives
March 2020
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